Brain farts of a graduate student

If anyone can answer me

2009-11-25T15:18:00.000-08:00

(For sections in French, refer to the French text, no joke this time)

The episode described in the last post has, I must admit, got a great deal of thinking going and I wonder why...

No, no, I don't wonder why the episode got me thinking, you numbnuts you, I'm asking myself some questions... And I'll make the effort to exclude any yes/no partisanship, just so I'm not accused of being an ostie de séparatiste, even though it's true. All of this, just so someone may answer me with the same tone, without climbing up the walls...

I couldn't cite the statistics on this even if I wanted to, but I remember reading somewhere that the proportion of French Canadians - and I'm including here Québécois, Acadians, French Ontarians and even the Manitoba Metis (if there are any left) and all of those that wait tables in Vancouver - that are able to have a conversation in basic English is much greater than the proportion of English Canadians able to do the opposite. We're talking here of something in the order of 95% versus 1%. I'm probably exagerating, but not so much I'm afraid.

And I'm wondering why, in a very objective manner. There was a time when what was Le Canada Français included the maritime provinces, Quebec, a great deal of Ontario, the entirety of the great lakes and the shores of the Mississippi down to Nouvelle-Orléans.

Well ok, the English won the war against the French, who basically abandoned us... We can scratch off the Mississippi, what remains is pretty big...

Well ok, there was Lord Durham and his report, Wolfe and his vision of the use of catholic churches, not forgetting the loyalists who came up. We were still catholic farmers strongly leaning on partying... All of this to make families of 25 children... We should have, statistically, outbreeded them... No?

Bah, no biggie, history is there and historians are there to interpret it.

2009

In theory, Canada is a bilingual country. So, little anglos are having mandatory French classes in school, no?

Actually, no. In most schools in the country, French as a second language is offered as an optional class. Contrarily to Quebec and New-Brunswick where learning both languages is mandatory.

And that's the first why??

Magnifier on Quebec: Case study, mine

I was born in a French family, and part of my family comes from the Eastern Townships. Which means that there is a cohabitation of those who descend from French settlers and those who descend from the loyalists. And generally speaking, there is a polite cohabitation in which the French speak English to the English... And where the English speak French to the French... It's all a question of context and where you're at.

Ex. I go to Miller's harware... I speak English to old man Miller.
Mr. Miller has a beer at my place, he speaks French to me...

And the world is beautiful, and the world is happy.

Even for natives of Montreal, this cohabitation exists. I have many friends for whom the mother tongue is English, and I have no problems speaking English to them because I know they have no problem speaking French to me. And most of the time, depending on the number of beers, it ends up being Franglish... Perfect cohabitation if I may.

I even have to speak English at family gatherings, my cousin's girlfriend is just in from Vancouver. No problem there, it's been like three days, but she wants to turn the world around to learn French, thank you very much, until then, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

And now the second why:

Why the attitude noted by Émilie Dubreuil in her article?
Why Dude's super aggressive reaction (and I'm talking about off the fucking charts here) that I described in my last post?

And the why that I prefer, and it's on this one that I would like an answer:

If I have the courtesy of addressing an anglo in his language, why am I not entitled to the same courtesy...?

Parce que le français, c'est difficile pour moi.

Est-ce que c'est aussi difficile que pour la blonde de mon cousin...? Est-ce que c'est aussi difficile que d'apprendre l'anglais l'a été pour moi?

Ben là... Je sais pas...

No biggie, we'll have another go at it.

And just so that my intentions are not mistaken, I'm not talking about a vague frustration emanating from a so-so English, I express myself in an English that, in the course of a month in Irland, caused me to:
1) mention that I am not an American and
2) explain that I do may day to day business in French and that the French Canadian fact is not something out of folklore...

This being said, an anecdote, and I'll finish with this.

In Belfast, of course, because it had to be there, I meet at the hostel an anglo from Montreal, and an anglo from Vancouver who think he can speak French...

In the common room with a French girl (from France), a Catalàn (of course), an Israelite (of course bis), the two aforementioned people, an Australian and a couple of Irishmen... The Quebec flag on my bag spawned the following conversation.

Vancouver: So you're a separatist
The girl from Montreal: Don't!!!
Me: Yeah, what's it to you?

Following which, the girl from Montreal lightened up the situation by bringing the intelligent conversation we're used to between yes and no... Simply, politely, openly.

The Israelite, no so suprisingly, spoke in these terms: Well if the majority wants it, you should fold, bunch of anarchists
The Catalàn, in Catalan cut with a so-so Spanish/English, seemed to appreciate what I was saying...
The Irish guys were parted and, no so surprisingly, didn't participate in the conversation... And the Australian was a pothead, so... no conversation except a Sorry dude what??

An my loved one from Vancouver started with his little comments that we're used to hear from Them (the assholes you know)...

8 hours latter, not a break from the comments, he received the balance of my beer on the head and saw my fist at face height, but not from too close, an Israelite had strongly suggested a great deal of wisdom with a: He's just a kid...

Moral of the story, ~~si t'es un p'tit pisseux, fais pas chier le québécois de 200 livres~~ I have to admit that my time in Ireland rekindled a some what of a pissed off nationalist sentiment (maybe jealous of the Irish), not the campaining one, the one that's a little bummed by Paul Rose and his buddies' failure.

Désolé, je ne parles toujours pas le français

2009-11-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

Oh well... Some time ago, I read this excellent article by Émilie Dubreuil in Urbania, a section of La Presse

Yesterday, I went to the Distillerie with Girlfriend. I hadn't been there for a year or so... We're talking about the place on Ontario. Fact: It has become a Little Toronto hangout.

For those who are not from Montréal, Little Toronto has another name: the McGill Ghetto. It is the area close to the university with the same name where the large majority of the residents are students of said institution.

I asked the question, after the following episode, to the waiter: "Since when has this place been an English hangout??" The answer: "I don't really know, but I'd tell you that the clientele is roughly 50/50..."

And so, after a nth mojito, I leave on a journey to the boy's room... In line in a very civil manner, a dude cuts in, and the following conversation ensues:

Me:"Hey, j'étais en ligne là."
Dude:"Sorry, I don't speak french..."

And there, the little light lights, and I am reminded of the aforementioned article...

Me, in a flawless English: "There's a line..."
Dude, in his flawless English:" Oh, Sorry..."

Blah Blah Blah, pleasantries exchange, and small talk

And the killer question, without any aggressiveness or accusatory tone, really simply, with what I would qualify a cordial tone:

"How long have you been living here?"

And the dude starts off on a tirade worthy of that of the nose:
"What, what is this supposed to be some separatist bullshit? What do you mean how long have I been living here? Are you some separatist fuck??" Etc, etc, etc...

There was a time when I would have answered, and when it would have probably ended poorly for the dude...

But the bathroom was freed at that moment, and I entered...

And through the door, I could still hear the dude talk to his friend:
"This fucking separatist asked me: How long I've been living here..." Etc, etc, etc...

I didn't make a case out of it, but the dude's aggressiveness was analogous to the sentiment presented in the article, and I must admit that this thing reminded me of another episode when I was in the army, in an English unit, I was summoned to speak white...

I would like not to generalize, but one must ascertain that for some, we're still second class citizens... Worse still, we are so for young people supposedly schooled and tolerant. And I think my position on the question is clear, if there were a third referendum, I would definitely vote yes, but I will never campaign on the subject because I consider that there is a plethora of more urgent problems to address... This is why, for some time now, in the federals, I vote green, and I have decided, in the last one and those to come, to change for the NDP, which is equivalent to wasting my vote anyway since I'm in Duceppe's riding.

Remains that Dude's reaction annoyed me a bit, maybe even hurt a little. And since I've been back in the blogosphere, I don't translate my posts anymore, but for this one, I'll make a little effort...

Here...

D-Day (bis)

2009-06-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

The first calculation was wrong...

It's rather:
363.25 days of practice,
1 dressed rehearsal in March...

And

1 St-John the baptist day.

Bonne St-Jean and mostly have a nice BBQ.

The death of reading?

2009-06-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Deep thinking this morning, about... Deep thinking. Ouch! I already have a headache. Well, I'll put you in context. I just read Foglia's chronicle in which he states that he is worried (In French). He says that he is not worried about the end of newspapers, information, not even the written word... He says he's worried that "there won't be anyone left to read the texts[...]"(translated).

This is basically a rough summary of the chronicle that, let it be said, is well worth reading, (if you're able to read French) even if you're not a fan of the character or his works in general.

BUT... I have to say there's a but. But, on this one, I don't agree with him, bizarrely and in an unusual way.

In his pessimistic vision, he worries that there won't be anyone left to read the texts, whatever their support is.

In my pessimistic vision, I worry that there won't be anyone left to understand the texts or, at best, that reading becomes the prerogative of learned individuals... Which would be more saddening, in my humble opinion, the the disappearing of the readers. Allow me to clarify.

Having been a teacher, I had the misfortune to note the generalisation of intellectual laziness. This is kind of what is described in the texts cited by Foglia (Is Google making us stupid? - Nicholas Carr).

Reading forces the effort of thinking and reflection. One of the arguments presented by Carr is that surfing from one title to the next on the internet, reading at most one or two pages, does a reformatting of the thought process.

Well, ok, probably. This is not what I'm trying to refute. Actually, I'm not trying to refute anything.

In both instances, the authors regard, summarily, the individual, or the consequences on the individual. But I'll ask this, what about the population?

More and more, people are turning toward the internet in order to find an answer to their questions, to keep informed, etc. You do it, I do it. The English idiom created to this effect is more eloquent than any argument... I googled this information.

In my pessimistic vision, the instant access to information is detrimental to the processes of reflection. And if more people turn to an easy access, and swallow the information as it is presented to them, less people will enter a deep reflection process, exit critical thinking.

There was a time, that I didn't know, where there existed such a thing called le cours classique (the classical school). Formation in language(s), mathematics, study of Greek and Latin. Classes of philosophy to an excess... An arduous program, or so I was told. This program, however, was focused on building a critical mind of each individual, criticism that spread through the population in its entirety. We can say what we want about our grand fathers... They had critical minds. One of mine retired as an assistant to the engineer in a quarry... Schooled to a third grade elementary school level. Could he have reached such responsibilities if he didn't have a deep reflection capacity...? I doubt it.

Arrive mass media...

I am the product of the '90's secondary school. I was in a transitory year between the nth school reform and the next. I was lucky enough to go to a college which tried as much as it could to build critical minds... And I think they generally succeeded. Get to CEGEP. Yuk! Discount package education... I take a class of this, but not of that. There are mandatory philosophy classes... Quite the philosophy: In what year was Plato born?? Not a glimpse of mind building. By chance, discount education hadn't reached the undergrad and masters programs I went through... Can't speak for the other ones though.

Arrives the internet...

Even mass media doesn't follow. We need to reinvent television, newspapers, everything! We need to reinvent them to give them a look that resembles that of the internet. Carr mentions it in his article: The New York Times that devotes the second and third pages to abstracts of the articles in the edition so that the readers don't have to do the fastidious act of turning pages... Dare I write about the current school reforms in our high schools...? Dare I write about my poooor mother, a masters level professor, who has to enforce discipline in her class and watch out for plagiarism...?

Wasn't I talking about intellectual laziness?!?!

Apparently my initial statement was erroneous... Reading won't be the prerogative of learned individuals... Deep thinking and criticism will belong to those individuals that show the necessary discipline. The instant access to information, according to me, favor more laziness than the end of the act of reading in itself. Short of downloading information directly in the brain, reading remains the best way to acquire information.

Who will be the ones in line to get a USB port implanted behind their ear? I'm afraid that it will be the silent majority... The one that was initially controlled by religion, then by mass media... And now by the internet.

While we're at it, I'll ask you a little question:

What did Nietzsche respond to his composer friend?

N.B. Discipline excludes the use of [ctrl]-f
N.B.2 Please don't comment about the philosophy, I ashamed enough as it is ;-)

The Matrix has you...

2009-06-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Ok... Big surprise this morning...

Pleasant surprise for once... But big surprise nonetheless...

The official title of my masters is:
Impact of Methylcyclopentadienyl Manganese Tricarbonyl (MMT) on airborne manganese concentrations in Montreal: 2001 - 2007.

There is an article attached to this work that has been refused on more than one occasion, only a poster version was accepted in terms of official publication, guess what I'll be presenting in Ireland...

Why am I talking about all of this??? Calm down, calm down, I'm getting there.

I'm currently reading Good news for a change: How everyday people are helping the planet, a very interesting book written by David Suzuki and Holly Dressel... (Note that I'm reading it in french, so everything cited next has been translated back to English by myself) I get to chapter 2, Removing one's consent, at page 106 (in my edition - Boréal) and I read this:

[...]By virtue of a decision based on the infamous chapter 11 of the NAFTA, Canada was forced to add to its gasolines a potentially dangerous manganese based additive, manufactured by Ethyl Corporation, the company that invented lead based additives. Although this additive is forbiden in a majority of the States, the canadian government had to pay the sum of thirteen million dollars to Ethyl, on top of presenting a public appology to the company for undermining its reputation after the parliement discussed neurological problems potentially linked to the product. [...]

Seems to me I've heard of this story somewhere before, in intimate details...
Kind of a déjà-vu...
Must be the Matrix...

It kinda makes me want to keep oick on companies that abuse their employees...

Sustainable development??

2009-06-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

We all go to the weather Network website from time to time... No? Sometimes, they have somewhat interesting articles on extreme weather anomalies... And put it all in the climate change context.

They also have a bunch of climatologists and meteorologists who work there, who build models, make predictions in various time frames... They're basically the private counterpart of the meteorological center of Environment Canada...

This being said... We are June 20th, less than 48 hours from the summer solstice... It is "nice', it's hot and it's humid... A typical summer beginning. We're out on the terraces, the tanktops are out of the drawers, it's been a while now... And the big wool sweaters have taken their places in these same drawers...

And so, would you please tell me why the people at the weather Network had the brilliant idea to write an article like this one (French only)...? Heat you terrace... HEAT YOUR TERRACE?!?! To heat the outside air, the dream of any healthy and normal Quebecois IN JANUARY!!! Not in the middle of summer... Ok for the heat lamps in October... It is still nice enough to have a beer outside, but the air can be cold... Still I'm not a fan of the thing...

If I catch someone heating his terrace with anything else than a BBQ, I'm going to help him heat it by setting his pants on fire...

While we're at it, if you were wondering what the quantity of Greenhouse Gases was in real time, you can always keep an eye on this thing...

An impopular popular consultation

2009-06-16T14:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked the beginning of the second part of the BAPE on the Turcot interchange project (Mostly in French, English section is a little incomplete). I participated in the brief of Environnement JEUnesse (ENJEU - French only), if you're interested, you'll eventually be able to consult it on either of the linked sites (Right J.?).

BUT...

This is not what I would like to talk to you about today... During yesterday's evening, 12 briefs were presented, and it went on today, and tomorrow, and ad vitam aeternam...

I would rather describe the array of emotions that perfused my system and those of my colleagues from ENJEU... (Disclaimer: I am under no circumstances speaking on their behalf, the-points-of-view-expressed-on-this-DVD-are-those-of-the-author-and-do-not-represent-those-of-the-distributor, the-editor, the-newspaper, or-anyone-else-because-to-make-oneself-responsible-of-something-has-apparently-become-a-crime-passable-of-capital-punishment) (Disclaimer: Nobody asked me to add the first disclaimer, it is a personal brain fart)

Avant-propos... I'm all for the right to demonstrate, even though I don't like to use it. However, I think there's a time and a place to do it. The local chapter of the communist party thought it judicious to demonstrate in the audience room, just before the beginning of the procedures... The president and the commissionaires therefore left the room. First delay. Hey! People! The democratic process is long and boring enough as it is, you don't have to add to it.

The audiences begin, technical difficulties, no sound in the room. Second delay... Note that on this one, the guy from the communist party made up... He offered his P.A. to the president which made everyone laugh.

So here we are, the first presenter of the evening was a little stressed out... Ok. A lot stressed out. That's why he must have had a few pick-me-ups beforehand. MAG-NI-FI-CIENT. Though I have to admit the proposal was interesting. The presenters were from a group of artists and suggested that, whatever scenario was selected, the structures be painted in murals, in a coordinated manner, so that view from the air, the entire structure looked like a geoglyph in a bird pattern... A little out there, definitively unique. I have to admit that I approve, even though I don't think it'll ever be done.

The second, a very serious retired urban planner...

The third, a student in urban planning who didn't think it wise to prepare his presentation... A 15 minutes class on the philosophy of urban planning. I think he hasn't done his first internship yet...

The fourth, the riding MP (Bloc) came to buy some votes...

The fifth, the fifth who still doesn't understand (after a self proclaimed long career in the field) that the BAPE is a consultative organisation that can only provide recommendations. A 15 minutes attack on the processes, the organisation, the president himself and on the persons of both commissionaires. Pure demagogy. I have nothing against it, if it's the chosen weapon, however it's a weapon to be used with the media, not for procedures... Although, his point is now in the transcripts, for whatever that's worth.

Numbers 6 through 9, I'll be stepping over, serious people and organizations who brought forth propositions and recommendations in good faith... Hats off to all.

The tenth presentation, according to me, by far the best one (excluding ours of course). A presentation by the Green Party... On the same subject then the fifth guy, but with the notable difference that they put the blame on the ministry of transportation, which does whatever it wants... Of an exquisite cynicism... Of an idyllic beauty... I promise to put up a link to the transcriptions as soon as they're available... I only wish that the Powerpoint will be there as well. BRA-VO!!!

The eleventh... Us. The most intersting of the presentations, of course, but by the time it was, there was nobody to listen, except the commissaires making huge efforts not to fall apart...

And the last, the local CSSS (French only) that put out a helping hand toward the ministry of transportation as much for consultation as for building a project that is in accordance with the ministry of health and social services positions... Not too bad. I find it interesting that a ministry as important as that of health, in a state that has universal health coverage and in which a VERY large part of the budget is given towards it, has to go through a consultative process in order to make its point across to another ministry, that is, let it be said, economically, strategically and in terms of number of votes a hell of a lot less important.

I just can't wait untill the Public Health Directorate presents its brief... We'll have had the local AND regionnal public health institutions in public hearings during which time the minister is picking his nose behin the mountain of dossiers piled up on his desk...

Yes he was a liberal, but I'm seriously starting to miss ministeer Couillard...

I said so!!!

2009-06-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

For years they've been breaking our balls with the pandemic potential of the avian flu (H5N1)... And for years I've been saying that there won't be a god damned avian flu pandemic.

All eyes were turned towards Asia looking for avian flu transferring to humans. And...? And...? What happened...?

Some tourist who had too much Tequila went and french kissed a pig... And there you go! Porcine flu (H1N1, sorry) epidemic. Actually, not quite... We're still a stage 5.

When we look at the numbers, we can see that 47.65% of worldwide cases are in the United States (13,217 cases), followed by far by Mexico (5,717 cases - 20.61% of worldwide cases). Question. Are we looking at a difference in screening, or is it the tendency of students on Spring break to overindulge in Tequila?

Anyway, I ran the simulations with this very useful tool... Prediction: The end of the world will actually come on May 21st 2012...

Paradigms, people... Paradigms.

***************
Update: 11h56
Apparently it's official: Stage 6 (The Gazette), although the WHO hasn't updated its site yet

A pat on the back and a slap upside the head

2009-06-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

To the population of Nova-Scotia:BRAVO!!!
This small maritime province elected its first New-Democratic government, we like... A majority government on top of that... we like a lot.

Well and now what?

Ideally QS in Québec for the next elections, an NDP majority in Ottawa, we burn down Alberta (Not too complicated, just go and light up a smoke)... We get the people of British-Columbia to smoke just a little more weed... Maybe they'll vote NDP in the next election.

Once we're there, we shouldn't have anymore problems.

Ok... Now a brain fart from the public health student.

I'm pretty sure you're seeing me coming from a mile away... Our favorite natural resources minister, Lisa Raitt and her comments. I think a lot of pertinent things have been said on this subject. Instead, I'll offer other sexy issues on which our new national tart can build her career.

- The lakes of oil sands extraction residues contaminating the ground water. Although if we don't act, within 50 years, there wont be anyone left in Alberta to work on the extraction... A lesser of two evils??

- I-don't-remember-the-name-of-the-invasive-insect that arrived in British-Columbia and ended up crossing the Rockies. This insect now threatens the entire boreal forest, a carbon sink much more important than the amazon forest, by the way. My kids won't have to cremate me when I die, All they'll have to do is put me outside.

- The over-exploitation of fisheries, wood, oil/gas, the melting of the permafrost and the methane it contains, etc. Same conclusion of the preceding point.

All these sexy issues a relevant to the natural resources ministry. Personally, every time I think of these, I can't help from having a boner the size of the Olympic stadium's mast... I'll be sure to ask Girlfriend if thinking about it has a Niagara falls effect on her...

What's your beef?

2009-06-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

I talk to you about the boeuf à K-Jo (facebook, e-mail) in Musico-culinary chronicle. In said chronicle, I spoke about the meat in a limited manner because 40 pounds of beef, that's a lot.

The ground meat is still good... yes yes. As a burger on the BBQ too. The only downside is that my grocery store is ALWAYS out of large hamburger breads... Ergo no burger worth mentioning... I'm stuck making little thingies that you can eat in two bites.

The steaks are still good, except when you had one too many beer and you forget them on the BBQ... Note to self: try not to get shitfaced before you start the cooking process.

The cubes. First attempt. Brochettes. Well, that was my mistake, I shouldn't have been lazy and cut some steaks instead of taking the cubes. A little stiff.

Second attempt. Brochettes again. But this time, I didn't let myself be had: 6 to 12 hours in Southern Comfort. It pretty much settled my stiffness problem.

Third attempt. WOAH!!!!! All those who were there are still licking their fingers. I thought I would have some leftovers, but that bunch of pigs ate it all. Boeuf bourguignon made with a mix of Marsala and Masi. More wine then not and you let it stew for 6 hours. It's to bang your head on the walls for. All this served with a tartiflette (potatoes, bacon, onions, cream, white wine and cheese... heavy!) A last winter meal to celebrate the arrival of summer.

I still have to taste the T-bones, the shoulder and the roast. All I need is the time to go and fill up the gas tank and that roast is going on a spit, I'll tell you about it.

For those who might be interested in getting some meat, I'm sadly two days late for the June delivery, it was on the 7th. But the good news is that there will be another one soon, so don't hesitate to contact Cajo (it's his beef), he should be able to manage something for you.

While we're at it! Cajo, when you come, you think we can get some liver?

And a little update:
I think there's a strike of commonsense in my neighborhood. While walking in the alley I heard a neighbor bitch. He was a little in disbelief and was looking to understand why his broken recycling bin, which he had put in an in-good-shape recycling bin, was still in the healthy recycling bin after the blue collars had gone by...

teeth, marketing and what had to happen did

2009-06-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

So that's it, I have good teeth. Ok, ok, let's go back...

A year ago my dentist says: Beginnings of receding gums... Hum, what? How come? I brush, I floss, I burn myself with Listerine...
He says, stop it, it's not worth it. (I think I've talked about this before... but hey) Instead rince with a half peroxyde and a half water...

What I,ve been doing diligently (And a slap for those who say I'm incapable of listening to people).

Lately, I went back to see the oral tortionnary: the beginnings of the receding gums is completely stopped, return to normal.

So I says to him, I says: But how come...?

Explanation: the pathogen bacteriae of the mouth are anaerobic bacteria. The oxygenated water kills them. As simple as that...

And the Listerine that burns them? Doesn't burn them, the alcool in it comes from sugar... on which the anaerobic bacteria feed... Oh? Well, well...

********

Marketing, I think I'll launch a new product and base the whole thing on marketing... I'll call it Bud Light lame.

I don't know about you guys, but I'd like to lay my hands on the ideaman behin the ads for the city of Laval, so that I can tell him exactly what I think of his concept... That impedes greatly my morale.

********

Ok... It's done, my old recycling bin, which died a few weeks ago, was finally put in its little polymerous casket, freed from the pile of crap with which it was laying and placed, very clearly, on top of other recycling bins...

And... Should we have a contest??? Guess... Who thinks that it was picked up...? Raise your hand high! Who thinks that the dead bin still lies on the sidewalk in its bag, with other recyclables...? Raise your hand so we can count...

DAMN IT!!!

I'm afraid I'll have to have it incinerated.

2009-06-03T06:13:00.000-07:00

Ok! The procrastination is over. The wires are starting to cross again.

Firstly, the travel blog of a friend in exile (in French). There will be a link on the left. An interesting reading on being uprooted, with the notable exception of breakfasts. Tsk Tsk... Shame on you sir.

Secondly, can anyone tell me how to put out to recycling a recycling bin? Ok. Context. For close to a month now, the recycling bin I was using, which dated back to the beginning of the recycling program, and which was poorly holding together with duct tape, finally went to a better place. It was full. It was of service one last time. And when the blue collar gently put it back on the sidewalk, the poor bin went hara-kiri because of a tired disheartening. It's been there since.

One pick up a week for the recycling, two for the garbage. It remains abashed next to a beautiful red maple. Gutted. Strangers have tried to give it back a little life by putting in it their own recyclables. They remain there with the bin open in its side.

Does anybody have an idea?

I will try to put it in a casket made out of a bag destined to recyclables. The only question that remains is that in my neighborhood, we're not using bags, we're using bins. Will the polymerous casket be considered?

And lastly, take note that I had a publication accepted in Dublin in August. Since I've never been there, I will spend the month of August showing the Irish how to drink beer... I wonder if it will resemble this:

Mea Culpa

2009-05-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm letting go of my writing duties... I know, I'm aware of it.

Mea Culpa... It's my fault.

I'll still try an explanation...

3 scholarships requests to draft...
2 articles to write
AND...
1 green mouse!

It's an explanation... Not an apology, and I humbly apologize.

On this, I'll leave you with a couple of deep thoughts...

There can't be any truth where there's no honnesty...
To who think they're out of the woods... Aren't.
Scotch is always a good reason/solution!

And... A small request...

Is there any way to bring back hangings for treason? I was submitted to a few since the beginning of the year, and it's quite enough now...

Musico-culinary Chronicle

2009-05-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

The musak:

Ok... Imagine Flogging Molly without the violins. In my humble opinion, it would suck. Now replace them with bagpipes! Yes, yes...

I got the album The warrior's code by Dropkick Murphys this week. I did already know the band, but only recordings dating back to the late 90's. Recordings that didn't impress me much.

Listening to this album, I realized they must have changed their mixer, or simply hire one. Superbly balanced. The lyrics are of a delicious cynicism on many songs... We like that too.

The lyrics to this played on the piano and bagpipes, touch the ex-military guy I am, and I have to admit that little throat thing. I must be part of this crew.

In a general manner, we have tattoos, weird music instruments and punk-rock. Always a good mix! (The only drawback, they are from Boston and are Bruins fan, for that we must hate them)

And now, the entrée:

A friend of Girlfriend said fuck it all and went to raise cattle in the Eastern Townships. Wich was, in my humble opinion, a very judicious move.

He raises his animals in a traditional manner (Hush, we can't say organic, an apparently costly certification). The little veal is raised in a field with its cow of a mother. Only fodder, no grain, no antibiotics... Nothing from the best of our mass production society.

The meat, cut, sealed and frozen arrives in useful packets of one to two pounds... Everything delivered right at home! The 40 pound package is split in three: ground meat, steaks and roasts/cubes. Note that it is possible to obtain half-packages...

Regarding the aspect, the meat is of a dark red recalling the aspect of game meat. Raw, it has a particularly strong smell and shows little fat. Once killed, the meat is cured for 14 days...

I unfortunately didn't have the time to taste all the cuts for the simple and good reason that 40 pounds of meat in one or two weeks is a lot, even for me... But I will discuss what I ate up to now.

A packet of lean ground meat for burgers... Lean you say? So much so, I had a hard time to get my paddies to hold. Next time, egg whites! It had been a long time since I had a beef burger, preferring by far horse meat... That's it! I'm going back to beef, under the only condition that it is this meat.

A packet of medium ground meat to make a meatloaf... WOW! I will keep my recipe under key, don't ask me. Ok, for the vegetarians, skip to the next paragraph... You know when you cook beef bought at the grocery store, the fat comes out... and so does the water, which has the resulting effect that you have those eyelets in the plate. The fat being lipophile, it agglutinates on top of the water, hence your eyelets. Well no! No water... only melted fat! Beautiful fat, yellow and limpid... And without the shadow of one of these eyelets. According to me, the sign of a great quality of meat...

Two packets of steaks to make steaks... My backyard being temporarily out-of-order, I had to cook everything in a pan. No BBQ, I can't wait! Very little fat, very little nerves, very tasty! Personnally, I beleive that a steak must go MOOOOUUUUHHH when you start cutting it in your plate, any other way of cooking it is a high crime against meat. Not only did it object to its treatment when I cut it, but it bled in a very fresh red!

Girlfriend's friend's name is Alexandre Cajolet-Couture (e-mail) and his operation le boeuf à k-jo (facebook), and if you love meat, I strongly invite you to contact him. It is a not-to-be-missed occasion. Unless I am mistaken, he has deliveries to Montreal every month. Really friendly guy, don't be alarmed if you're under the impression that I'm stepping into your kichen.

In a general manner, we have tattoos, a cattle owner that has to swear because he can't make his deliveries on his motorcycle, good meat, a local production, a social conscience and probably punk-rock. Always a good mix

Statistics applied to municipal administration

2009-04-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

Starting this year, willing montrealers will be able to subscribe to BIXI. The word comes from a mix of BIcycle and taXI, original... Initially a VERY good idea, the project seems to have gone a little sideways.

The sidetrack concerns the costs associated to the whole thing. Indeed, a 12 month subscription costs 78$... Well ok. We can live with that.
The first half-hour is free... We can live with that too.
The second half-hour will cost you 1.50$... Not so bad.
The third half-hour will cost you 3.00$... Huuummm, wait up.
The fourth, and subsequent, half-hour will cost you 6.00$... Ouch.

Is it just me, or is these prices exponential?

I take one of these free-to-use bikes and go run some errands... Notwithstanding the annual subscription, let's calculate what it'll cost me to run errands for three hours...
Take the metro from home to the BIXI drop-off: 2.75$
Take the bike for a half-hour: free
Take the bike for a second half-hour: 1.50$
Take the bike for a third half-hour: 3.00$
Take the bike for a fourth half-hour: 6.00$
Take the bike for a fifth half-hour: 6.00$
Take the bike for a sixth half-hour: 6.00$
Take the metro from the BIXI drop-off home: 2.75$

And so, il will cost me a total of 28$ to take a BIXI for three hours... Repeat the experiment once a week for the three summer months, your BIXI just cost you 336$

I take my car... 5$ worth of gaz, 3 hours of parking at 3$/hr for the meters... 14$. Over the summer: 168$.

I take the metro... 2.75$. Twice... 5.50$. Over the summer: 66$.

Buying a bicycle, and a lock, at this place will probably cost you less the using the BIXI service... Plus, this company does social reinsertion!

This being said, when one observes the general formula of the proportional hazard Coz model, shown here:One can easily notice that it applies to these useful bikes... This formula allows us to evaluate survival time of an individual, a program, etc.

And I predict that when t goes towards infinity, the survival function of the BIXI program falls off to 0...

Statistics applied to motorcycle riding

2009-04-08T05:48:00.000-07:00

We have:

X1(T) = Exterior temperature (0 ; 1) time dependant

where 0 = absence of snow on the ground if T = T1

and 1 = accumulation of snow on the ground if T = T2

X2(T) = Getting a ticket (0 ; 1) time dependant

where 0 = no if T = T2

and 1 = yes if T = T1

f(X) = C + AX1(T) + BX2(T)

a function dependant of X1(T) and X2(T)

representing the probability of ridding a motorcycle and the cost associated to the activity.

T1 = Before March 15th

T2 = After March 15th

So the ANOVA of f(X) and the resulting model, will tell us that if we are before March 15th, there will not be snow on the ground, but we'll get a ticket because we don't have winter tires on. However, if we are after March 15th, there will be snow on the ground, but we will not be ticketed.

When I got up this morning, I saw the I could easily do doughnuts with my bike, but it would be hard to pop a wheelie...

And for the real math nerds that could stumble upon this, I know perfectly well that it doesn't hold up... go to hell, I'm going back to bed.

Contempt of the court?!?!

2009-04-06T09:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, can anyone tell me what I did???

You'll remember Girlfriend's adventures, if not, go see One for the CMPD... So, last thursday was the guy's court date. Girlfriend had to be at the courthouse at 9AM, in order to possibly loose her entire day. I drove her there because she was running a little late. In the aim of ultimate procrastination and having never been inside a criminal court, I decided to stay with her part of the day .

So I drop her off, and go on a quest to find a parking spot, which is no small feat around the courthouse. I end up finding the audience room et do the best I can to enter silently. Girlfriend is sitting there, I join her, and since her case hasn't started, I take out my crossword.

Intense newspaper folding sound.

Judge:

"Officer, please..."

I look around me and notice that my newspaper is the weapon of the audible crime. The officer having moved next to me and looking at me with mean, mean eyes...

Ooops, sorry...

I quickly finish folding the newspaper... Dead silent as soon as I'm done... Phew!

Continuation of the procedures...

Not being too interested in the ongoing case... I silently take out my pen and silently begin my crossword.

Judge:

"Officer, I think those individuals didn't understand, please escort them outside..."

My attention is caught by the comment, I lift my jead and look around... Just to see what the problem was, and to notice that Girlfriend and I were the problem...

What?!?! Ok, ok, we're going...

We were kicked out of the audience room... No idea why, I think that Judge was in a bad mood, but that's me. Maybe Judge doesn't like crosswords... I don't know.

I'd like to know what was my high contempt crime...

No biggie, Girlfriend and I go in the waiting room outside... We do the crossword unbothered... All is well.

Girlfriend has to go talk with the DA... I stay there, lost in my thoughts, when a courthouse constable flanked by to huge cops comes to see me.

Constable:

"Sir, please, may I have a word for a moment...?"

Me:

"Sure."

Constable:

"Please, come with me..."

I get up and follow him to a small consultation room. I enter, he enters, I turn around to notice that the small room doesn't have a door anymore...

Imagine the scene, me, not on the small side, already feeling a little tight in the room... Constable, about as high as my nostrils... And the two cops in the doorway... I'd like to point out that I'm no taller than either of the two cops' shoulders...

The thought going through my head:

"Jeez, this seems a little excessive for a fucking crossword... Judge could have at least told me what I did wrong... I would have appologised with pleasure."

Constable:

"Sir, there was a complaint about you..."

New thought:

"No shit! I didn't kill anyone damn it, I just did a little noise in an audience room..."

Constable:

"... You have in your possession, and I can see it is true, a knife."

Me:

"WHAT?!?!"

Constable:

"There, on your belt..."

A multi-tool... a glorified pocket knife... A set of pliers... ALWAYS at my belt... Quite the knife...

Well, ok... I'll go drop it in my car, if not it's the death penalty for sure...

Couple of realisations...

The work of a judge is apparently stressful enough to be irritated by someone who's not listenning at what's going on...

The procedures in a courthouse go further, by far, than any administrative mess in any university... Including French ones...

Next time, I go naked.

Do as you must...

2009-03-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

With the buddies... Do as you must.
With the girlfriend... Do as you must.
At school, at work, at home... Do as you must...

Done... Fi-ni-shed... O-VER!!!

Saturday, I'm taking out my motorcycle and I'm putting on my asshole hat. Don't ask me anything for the next month, the answer will be a thunderous NO. And if you insist, it will be a big beautiful EAT SHIT!!!

When it's nice out, motorcycle...
When it's cloudy... MOTORCYCLE!
When it's raining buckets... A beer and a scotch.
Ok, ok... Maybe two or three times the pair

*********************
UPDATE: Marc 27th 2009

It's done... 24 hours in advance.

150 on the highway, on a custom... It exorcises most of the winter's demons. Even better than the chiropractor! (I had to recharge the battery... didn't I?)
I'm going to take a shower, I'm a little sticky...

WHYYYYYYYYYY?

2009-03-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

Most unsexy situation this morning... Thursday I shovelled snow off the yard... So I could take out the motorcycle. I didn't finish, it's a little cold since then to break 6 or 7 inches of ice...

And this morning, it's snowing!!! Ok, it's three or four snowflakes... But it's snow nonetheless.

I've been weaning for four months, I'm shaking, I don't sleep... I need to hear my bike's vroum vroum...

Vroum vroum... Go on! Go... Get going motorcycle season, you can do it... Vroum...

The kiwis

2009-03-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ok... Aside from being green and hairy, the kiwis seem to have either too much beer, or way too much free time...

I'm suspecting a well dosed mix of both...

The translation

2009-03-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

The David Suzuki Foundation (or Fondation David Suzuki) recently launched a french translation program of the all their works. There is much work to do, and I decided to participate. And so, from time to time, I receive an e-mail with a text to translate... Nothing long, never more than a page.

I also take the opportunity to add my own comments in terms of adaptation, because we all know how much us Québécois love to read the word Canada four times in the same sentence...

So, if you (or someone you know) would like to lend them a hand, I invite you to contact the guy in charge of the translation project... Here's his e-mail.

Still in bulk

2009-03-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

First snow shovelling effort of the winter:

It's one small step for me...

One giant leap for motorcycle season!

I heard some geese or bernaches (sorry, couldn't find a translation for this-bird-that-resembles-a-goose) flying over down-town this morning. Seems to me it's a bit early. Girlfriend says they'll get what's coming to them since they're calling a minus 10 tomorrow... An old university colleague now living in Texas says (more or less) that it's already too warm for them over there... And apparently, they are already well established on the banks of the river, a little east of Montreal...

Maybe eventually it's here that they will spend their winters... I know a couple of hunters that would rejoice if it were the case.

Another season is beginning: Moving. Yaaaaayyyyyy!!!

After receiving a letter from the municipal court for a Mr. B., whom I don't know from neither Eve nor Adam, and that I returned clearly indicating: WRONG ADDRESS (with my most beautiful calligraphy). I ended up getting a seizure warrant... I have left two messages to the bailiff... No returned call.

Would it be that the municipal court is led by the same administration as my Alma Mater?!?!

A good idea and a not-so-good one

2009-03-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

Ok... The not-so-good one first: Girlfriend and I went to the Salon de l'emploi et de la formation (Job and formation Expo)...

Nothing... Wet fart... Ab-so-lu-te-ly nothing!

Nothing! Nothing for people with a college degree, even less for people with a university degree.

However, I could have begun a great career at Wal-Crap, or at McClowncrap's.

SO, we had the brilliant idea to go and have a beer on a terrasse on St-Denis... Basking in the sun... The first beer-on-a-terrasse of the year.

It has been the best idea of the day, and the most productive part of it.

Cheers! The season is coming...

D Day

2009-03-17T12:34:00.000-07:00

364.25 practice days

1 St-Patrick's day

At which time did you start drinking green beer and/or Guinness???

Oh! And I finally found the proof we were missing to show the world that the Québécois are better drinkers than the Irish:

They can buy beer starting at 10AM, every day of the year, except on march 17th... on that day the time is changed to 12 noon...

We can buy beer starting at 8AM (possibly earlier ??) EVERY day of the year...

HA!

Point. Set. Match.

A-Ha (À la Nelson)

2009-03-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

Actually, just to annoy her...

Lyrics | Brian Setzer - Don’t trust a woman (in a black cadillac) lyrics

hihi... ;-p

On go, let's all move to Québec City

2009-03-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

Big news on the beautiful City of Québec's cultural scene.

A grand show is offered to the residents of Québec City on April 10th... It's my father's birthday around that date, you think he'd enjoy?

So, for the first time ever, they are playing together, and it's an exclusive to Québec City!!! I'm almost jealous...

Ok, fine... I know a few people who live in Québec and its surroundings, none of them would be caught dead at that show. One of my ex comes from (Pont, Rivière, something)-Rouge, near Québec City, her, she might enjoy... But since we don't talk to each other anymore, I have no way of knowing...

Will someone slit my wrists, PLEASE!! The worst of the 80's pop music, finally together?!?!

That's promising...! I especially eager to see the review the next morning in the Journal de Québec, on the first page:

THE BESTEST SHO OV DE YEER
Yes terrday, life in fron tov a room ful of mullets, de bestest musik ov all time...

I can already imagine the Pepsi Coliseum, ready to burst full of big hair, mullets and purple, pink and leopard leggings... All these people proudly wearing a sweatshirt with a big ass wolf on it...

In bulk again

2009-03-12T13:44:00.000-07:00

Update on One for the CMPD, the detective came to give her money to Girlfriend, the guy is pleading not guilty (WTF?!?!). The detective said there is no doubt as to the identity of the guy on the surveillance tapes... And Girlfriend got a call from the lady of the criminal acts' victims help center to ask if she was in need of a shrink...

Update on Winter fashion, spring is here, and it happened... just like that, without any warning. I was just about to get in the shower when the spring shedding happened. All the beard hairs on the floor... Without any kind of warning...

It looked like this:

There is an office party at the company I often spoke of... It's weird all the present and past employees were invited... Except me and Colleague-who-filed-a-complaint, do you think it's an honnest mistake? Should we go anyway...? Just so were green, we could carpool...

Internet 101

2009-03-12T07:23:00.001-07:00

As most people know very well, surfing the internet leaves electronic marks... Apparently, this notion seems to escape the grasp of some, therefore I will try to give a little Internet 101 class...

It must be noted that, in the addresses that follow, I changed some information for anonymity. You will have noticed that I never name anything or anyone on this blog, I make it a point of honor, and it would seem that some people don't get it and try to take me in fault. I will try to educate these people that are related with the company to which the past few entries make reference...

So, in bold, the changed information...

file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings

/name_of_the_windows_user/Local%20Settings/Temp

/R?rtoire%20temporaire%201%20pour%20Vesses%20de%20

cerveau%20d%27un20?diant%20gradu?009-03-09%202.zip

/Vesses%20de%20cerveau%20d%27un%20?diant%20gradu?009-03-09.mht

What does this tell us? Raise your hand if you know the answer!!
YES!!! Con-gra-tu-la-tion!
It tells us that name_of_the_windows_user loaded the main page of my blog (and others), and that he received it (probably via e-mail) in a compressed file (.zip) in which the main page of my blog was saved using internet explorer (.mht) on march 9th 2009.

I could also tell you from where, when and at what time, his internet service provider, etc. But it would be a little long for nothing... This was an example. Wanna try with something else? Careful, who can get information out of this:

file:///D:/Name_of_the_company/

Gestion%20des%20ressources%20humaines/enqu?/My_name
/Vesses%20de%20cerveau%20d%27un%20?diant%20gradu?es%20moulins%20?ent.mht

What does this tell us???
Yes, again a saved file on the D: drive of a computer on which there is a folder called name_of_the_company, in which there is a folder Human resources management (which surprises me to the highest point), that there is one or more ongoing investigation (knowing them, they probably have a file on everybody), and that in the folder under my_name, my text on the windmills has been saved...

Without doubt, in this same folder, there is a bunch of e-mails and other documents of which I already know the content, having my own copies... My god, is somebody building a file on me???

Go ahead, I have nothing to blame myself for. By the way, everything I talk about in today's entry is perfectly free to access and I didn't have to hack anything. You'll notice the little icon at the bottom of this page...

It looks like some people consider me on my appearance, that resembles that of a bum full of tattoos, and seem to forget that one shouldn't try to outnerd the guy that has a degree in physics...

One for the CMPD

2009-03-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

Wow... The Montreal police officers are currently applying means of pressure - We don't really know why - but it doesn't stop them from being efficent.

Yesterday, Girlfriend was going to a friend's birthday party, and stops at the ATM in order to deposit a check and withdraw some money... Enough to pay her part of the rent.

The guy fiddling around a the next telling machine goes around her, pushes her and tries to grab the cash coming out of the machine. Girlfriend goes halfway in to grab her wallet, the guy shoves her and she manages to turn him aroud so he faces the ATM's camera.

He grabs the cash and gets out... Girlfriend puts her wallet in her pocket, which the guy sees... He comes back, shoves her to the ground and searches her asking for her cell phone... She tells him she doesn't have one, and the guys runs off.

Girlfriend looks for a security phone in the place, there is none... She knock on the bank door, no security guard... She comes out, and a girl who saw the whole thing is already talking with the 911 service.

Girlfriend calls me on the girl's phone, I get there at charging pace. I have to admit it had been a while since I've gone anywhere at charging pace. No injury, but she's trembling like a leaf... Ok! We can breathe.

Policewoman arrives, guy's description, call on the air... Other patrol cars start circling in the area. Girl's statement. During which time, on the police frequency: We found the guy, with the money...

All of this must have taken a good 10 minutes. I have to say that the guy, not on the quick side, had come from the close by metro station et went back there to jerk around.

Policewoman tells us to go back home and that she will come meet us there to take Girlfriend's statement... Paperwork, paperwork... All is well and ends well! Girlfriend will even be able to get her money back in the next few days, unless it is turned in as evidence. In which case, she will get it back eventually...

All of this happen according to the best theory of a system that works, I'm still a little flabergasted by it.

This being said, a few relisations:
The guy, had he only taken the money (simple theft) OR shoved Girlfriend (simple assault), would have gotten a slap on the wrist. Both put together (aggravated theft) brings a possibility of 4 years behind bars. For something that reeks of a crime of opportunity, I'm under the impression that the guy will regret it for a long time. Especially since everything was caught by the security cameras and that the recordings, as of 7AM this morning when the detective called, were already in his possession and had been looked at.

I totally forgot to ask Policewoman why they were applying means of pressure... Sorry.

Finally, I thought of asking Policewoman, who was quite the looker, to stay and help me comfort Girlfriend, especially considering the fact that she has real hadcuffs. But I said to myself that, under the circumstances, Girlfriend might not appreciate... Next time.

Finally some good news...

2009-03-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

Good! Here it is!!! A small victory for the worker.

In my last entry, I was talking about the grunting... Well after I shoveled enough shit... And after many people refused to sign their contracts et to go back to work before getting a satisfactory agreement...

Colleagues A, B, C and D rewrote their contracts and will be paid the full number of worked hours... At the promised salary!

I do believe that it's the first time that this company accepts to do so.

I find deplorable the fact that we have to re-fight battles that, seems to me, were won by our great-grand-fathers. Indeed, the demands of the first unions were a simple:

"Pay us the hours we work!!! (circa 1930)

And it seems that we have to do it today with a social economy company, that boasts itself with terms like: collectivity, environment, future...

I still hope that this gain will remain and that the next new employees will be offered these new and improved conditions. You'll forgive my pessimism, but I doubt it. This is why I will keep my eyes open and my ears peeled.

And I hope with all my heart that those that benefit right now from this little gain that we just got... Will fight to keep it in the future.

- End of this chapter -

As for the other thing... The personal documents copied without authorization...

One of the big advantages of being a graduate student, is having friends that are also graduate students in fields that have nothing to do with yours.

And so, as for my little legal problem, I asked the question to a long time friend that happens to be a doctoral student... in Law. My thing isn't really her field of work, but I'm pretty sure that she will find me my answer in the time it takes to say it.

I'll keep you posted.

And it goes on...

2009-03-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well... Where were we...?

Colleague had ceased all talks... There! That's it, this is where we were.

The lady from the normes had imposed a deadline to both parties so that they could come to an settlement, after which she would begin legal procedures. And so, at the 11th hour... Just before fateful moment, Colleague gets an e-mail:

A long text saying that the offer is not based on her overtime (Ok...).
An Excel file giving the (quite acceptable) amount of the settlement, based on her overtime (Yeah...).
A Word document that contains MSN conversations excerpts, which is their overwhelming evidence (Wow, wait a minute!! What?!?! I'll get back to this...).

Colleague consults friends and family and ends up accepting the offer, but she has conditions of her own. Conditions that include obtaining the contract she was never given her copy, and that, apparently, were agreed upon, but I'm not in a position to talk about it... The following conversation, exchanged after she had signed the settlement, explains why:

Me:
So...?
Colleague:

I can't talk to you about it, I signed a non disclosure agreement...
Me:
Well... Did you at least get what you wanted
Colleague:
(...)

Coitus interruptus... Neither you nor I will ever know the ultimate arrangement. On the other hand, if she accepted, she must have gotten what she wanted.

- End of this chapter -

- New chapter -

Excerpts of MSN conversations??? As a lever of negotiation (personally, I still call it intimidation)... Ok? Let's start from the beginning:

Colleague uses MSN as a work tool. Some of her conversations were automatically saved on the hard drive of her computer. High management said that she was wasting time, amongst other things, in order to refuse to pay the overtime.

When the job ended, Colleague deleted all her personal files from the computer she was using, including the MSN conversations.

And these conversations come out now??? Hum... How come? So, at some point in time, before her contract ended, someone took her computer and copied the personal files that were on it. Ok, this point can be discussed... personal versus work tool... Ok, fine. But nobody authorized the duplication of these documents.

And during this week's "negotiations", she gets conversation excerpts thrown in her face... Notably some conversations she had had with me... OH NO!!!

She deleted these conversations...
She never authorized duplication...
I never authorized duplication...
And above all...

I NEVER AUTHORIZED MY WRITINGS TO BE USED AS MEANS OF PRESSURE, FOR BLACKMAIL AND THREATS!!!

I was never advised that things that I wrote, in the comfort of my home, would be copied and taken out of context in order to harm Colleague...

What if I went and taped your phone calls as a third party??? Would that be legal too?

I'm under the impression that someone is looking for an open war... No problem, I spent two years crawling in mud with the armed forces... Bring it on!

- To be continued -

- And this chapter continues -

You might remember that in Two weights... Two measurements... I reference the fact that I was trying to get clearly and in writing the way in which I would be paid for an on going project. To which I never got an answer, So I ended up writing my own contract and got a representative of the company to sign it before I ever started to work... It's good to take the initiative once in a while...

However, there are some bobo's related to this thing... A few in fact:
Colleague A was promised that all his hours would be paid at base salary by the person in charge of the project who, in turn, got the information from a member of the high management...
Colleague B was promised that all her hours would be paid by a secondary member the high management...
Colleagues C through J are in limbo, not knowing what is really to expect...
Colleague K and L just don't have contracts...

Everyone works in harmony, until the contracts arrive (except for K and L). The bomb! You will be paid XXX$ per duly completed workday... Hum... Ok?!?! What does it mean? It means your overtime will not be paid...

Naturally, the contracts arrived when the project was two thirds done.

Interesting, very interesting, especially for Colleagues A and B that worked 10, 12 and 15 hour days... They're in kind of a bind because, now that they have read the contract, if they keep working, they tacitly agree to these conditions and can say bye bye to their overtime.

Seems to me I have seen this situation before... I kind of smells like the same shit on a different pile.

There is however a difference, the grunting... There has been grunting for a while. Many times, we have spoken about this sort of situation to the management... Many times, we have objected to some of the internal processes of the company... Many times, we have asked to be heard and recognized, may it be a heartfelt thank you, that aren't just thoughtless words...

When we received this new slap in the face, it didn't pass too well. Normally, I would have mixed and lifted the grunting... But I didn't have too. When I got there, during the evening, the faces were long and the anger palpable. That one was one too many.

Once again we must go to the barricades... Remains to see what will come of it.

Two weights... Two measurements...

2009-03-01T04:54:00.000-08:00

You thought you were through...? You thought this story was over...? No way. The saga continues.

For those of you who might not have followed since the beginning, here's another update of:

The windmills

Socio-corporative economics (part 1)

Socio-corporative economics (cont.)

Well, what you must keep in mind for this one... My complaint with the Commission des Normes du Travail (Sorry, still no translation on this one - Work Norms Commission, I guess), the fact that I ended up being paid what was owed, but that others weren't paid in total their overtime...

As I have mentioned it before, after I turned in my complaint, the lady from the Commission called the employer in order to inform him a complaint had been turned in. After which, a member of the high management, but not the CEO, called me... Here's a summary of the conversation I had with said person:

Him:
"So, what do you want?"

ME:
"Simple, I want to be paid for the hours I worked..."

Him:
"Ok, but the number of hours you're asking is incorrect..."

- Revision of the number of hours worked and paid –

We manage to agree on a number of hours and the simple formula that follows:

Worked hours - Paid hours = Overtime

Overtime x My salary = Amount owed

Him:
"If I round this down to 1,000$ for all the breaks and lost time, is it all right?"

Me:
"No problem"

Him:
"You're going to send me an e-mail that stipulates that you're going to lift your complaint as soon as the money is deposited. And let me add that this entire thing personally pisses me off..."

Me:
"No problem, I'll send it to you..."

All of this lasted less than an hour, I indeed received everything the next day. And as I have mentioned it before, others received everything as well, and others still... Got a couple of hundred bucks so they would shut their yaps...

And a copy of the e-mail, containing all this information, was sent to many people.

Ok, that's it for the details... The saga continues:

A colleague, who in fact was our supervisor, effectively received peanuts... This colleague, I took her position for a while because she had to be taken out of her job because she was overworked, extremely tired and on the verge of a burn-out.

She communicates with the employer in order to know on what base the "bonuses" were granted. A member of the very high management answers her:

"As a function of worked hours."

The member of the high management with whom I negotiated corrects:

"It's a bonus based on efficiency."

Hum... Oups.

Ok, let's keep going... Big breath, new complaint with the Normes (I spare you the details).

The process is the same, and the lady (coincidence: the same that handled my file) calls the employer, who tries to get in touch with the colleague... No success over the phone: e-mail (basically):

"Hi Colleague, I tried to reach you, no success. Can you call me please? Signed: Secondary member of the very high management."

Answer from Colleague:

"I'm hard to reach, tell me what you have to say by e-mail."

- Total refusal of putting anything in writing... Fishy... Note that for my part, I was asked to participate in a project, and that I've been trying for a week and a half to know exactly how I'm going to get paid... in detail... Still no answer. –

Colleague ends up agreeing to call and the very first offer from the employer:

"Can you lift your complaint please?"

- Ok... Quite the offer, especially when you consider the the minimum wages owed is close to the entire settlement I got, at my salary... Yes, yes, there is so much overtime that the minimum wage is no respected for an amount close to 1,000$ -

The discussion continues big negotiations... You could say it like that: Big negotiations... Personally, I would rather say threats, intimidation and blackmail, but that's my own opinion... mine.

So, Colleague ends up getting an offer:

(Appreciatively, because some of the hours were removed)

Worked hours - Paid hours (at her salary) = Overtime

Overtime x minimum wage = amount A

Amount A / 2 = Offer...

Colleague:
"Ok, why calculate in function of two different salaries? Why divide by two...?"

New offer:

Worked hours - Paid hours (minimum wage) = Owed hours

Owed hours x minimum wages (with the 1.5 multiplier) = Amount B

Amount B /2 = Offer

Colleague:
"Again, why divide by two...?"

Member of the secondary management, calculator in hand (probably):

"Because we have overwhelming evidence against you and if we go to court, you could end up with nothing... I suggest you accept my offer."

This esoteric calculation leaded to a total silence in communications from Colleague.

This is the end, for the time being, of the saga... It will continue, without doubt... And I will continue this saga in time.

I will nonetheless allow myself this:

Damned! That's really beautiful! All these discussions of Colleague and Second Rate Senior Officer lasted many hours over two days. She got her arm twisted so that she would sign a contract, and since she has signed it, they won't let her have her copy... She was accused of psychological harassment, when I have witnessed the opposite, namely for the contract signing... She was told that she didn't have to work all these hours because she was never asked to do them, anyone who has worked for this company will attest to the opposite...

The best one, I think, is that the person at the other end of the line believes that one should always separate work life and personal life... When he said to me that he was personally hurt by my complaint... That he took Colleague’s complaint personally... And that all of this stinks of personal attack on Colleague...

I have to admit that I can't remember a situation from which so much bad faith came out...

Lost youth and hard reality

2009-02-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

There are times, like today, when I miss my army days... I miss the simplicity of life, the camaraderie. Note that when I was there, Canada had a peacekeeping army, not an occupation force.

I miss a lot the C-7 assault rifle, a reliable weapon, efficient with its 30 round magazine, semi or fully automatic. The smell of the powder when fired, the near total lack of recoil, how easy it is to handle...

I mostly miss the C-9 light machine-gun, with its 2 interchangeable canons, the rapid firing rate, the precision of the shots... 750 or 1,000 rounds a minute. Or the C-6 heavy machine-gun.Ouh! Little feeling... ;-)

I miss all that when I read stuff like this...
(It must be an exclusive, couldn't find an English version of this story. Sorry)

So, the federal government wants to change some laws to facilitate the rape of the land and weaken the powers of the Canadian Environmental Assessment Agency (CEAA)

Basically, the conservatives want to decrease by 90% the number of environmental evaluations in development projects. In order to stimulate the economic boost needed. BULLSHIT!!! What we really want is facilitate the party's friends' projects... And sweep off to the provinces the rest of the evaluations in order to save money... Note that the provinces won't be able to do a great deal of these evaluations that are constitutionally federal competencies.

What does it all mean...

Firstly, modification of the navigable waters act.

Right now, any citizen has a right to navigate in Canadian waters with any kind of vessel. Which means that a construction must not impede on the navigability of the body of water in question. For instance, suppose I have at my disposal a 300,000 tons ship, and that I want to pass on a river with a 400,000 tons capacity, any construction on or around the river must accommodate a 400,000 tons ship. And I will not have any problems.

The conservatives want to allow navigability by minister's decree only. Which implicates that if someone wants to build a bridge over the aforementioned hypothetical river, he can do it so that not even a sloop can pass underneath...

Loss of a right that most of us don't use anyway... But loss of a right nonetheless

Secondly, modification of the fisheries act.

This law, as it is right now, calls for an environmental impact assessment as soon as a projects, whatever its nature, can potentially hinder the natural habitat of fish. Indeed, the fisheries act is the best tool for the protection of any body of water. The great majority of projects that are remotely related to water must show an environmental impact assessment by virtue of this law. And the only thing excluded are the little streams in which there are no fishes... Because there are no fishes. Try and go find a stream in which there are not even minnows.

This law covers everything... From physical projects (Infrastructure) to the use of the water itself (Irrigation, disposition of waste water). The article from Le Devoir doesn't describe the anticipated modification in this act... But still, removing any kind of bite to this law is very, very dangerous, because it is the only one that has as much power in all the field of environmental law.

Changing this law, it is allowing the destruction of any river in Canada... In any way... By any one...

Ordinary... Quite ordinary.

Thirdly, inversion of the "burden of proof".

Right now, any project is covered and potentially needs an environmental assessment, except those excluded in the act... If the conservative's plan goes through, no project will be covered, except those included in the act...

Yeah... I think that one speaks for itself.

As far as I am concerned, I know that my MP, Gilles Duceppe, will vote against this law... Anyways, he always votes against the conservatives. Which in itself, doesn't bother me that much.

What about yours?

Spring flowers

2009-02-18T05:43:00.000-08:00

It's this wonderful time of the year that seems to come earlier each year:
Spring flowers...
Snowdrops...

Figure it out for youself:
One 100 pounds dog,
One foot of snow each month
And...
A backyard.

Right now, there's a somewhat distinctive spring smell in my back yard. Therefore, it's the perfect time to go into Spring Cleaning mode.

A guide to help you along if you happen to be in the same situation.

1) Make sure your boots/shoes don't have holes (and are ideally waterproof)
2) Avoid wearing loose clothing (which includes buttoning up your coat)
3) Watch where you're walking
4) Avoid kneeling when you actually pick a pretty spring flower.

And above all, turn off your brain when your boy(girl)friend/neighbor/fa(mo)ther/aquaintance starts a phrase by saying:

You know, your god damned dog...
(Do not badmouth the dog, the dog goes before you do)

Socio-corporative economics (part 1)

2009-02-16T11:21:00.000-08:00

Well... An update on: The windmills...

I wont spend all day describing the company, I already did it in the windmills. However there are some points, learned recently, that definitely made me climb up the curtains.

So, it is confirmed, those whom hadn't received the totality of the money for the work hours still haven't... Ok, devil's advocate?? Unfavorable economic context and no cashflow... I can beleive those excuses. However, when nothing is done in order to repair... Appologise for the time or other... It's more like sweeping everything under the rug. More so when you consider the new partnership with one of the biggest waste management companies on the Québec territory...

But all that... Peanuts.

We're talking about social economics, yes?

I don't know about you, but when I'm considering a social economics company, I'm thinking about a cause to push forward. I'm thinking about the sharing of ideas and partnerships between companies (as in corporations) and social groups.

On the other side, when I'm thinking about a corporation, I'm thinking about the race for profits, maintaining a monopoly and, in some extreme cases, confidance abuse...

I'm asking the question: In regards to what you're about to read, how would you consider a legal person that:

When it signs a contract with an other entity, the organization leading an event for instance, a clause is included that forbids the entity in question to hire former employees of the legal person for a two year period... Without telling it's own employees. Huuuummmm, what?

Ok, on a related subject, the employees sign a clause with their contract that says they can't work for the competition for a two year period. This, is somewhat normal... It's a question of intellectual property and other notions of the kind... Ok, no problems there.

What is implied here?

1) Maintaining a monopoly

Suppose that I'm organizing an activity, anything, and that I want to make sure that there will be a maximum of recycling going on on my site... I call in a company that does this kind of stuff. It's expensive. The next year, I organize the activity again. But, I don't necessarily have the resources to do the recycling thing, so I decide to do it myself.

I have no idea of how to proceed... I need help. I have this cause at heart. BUT, I have there is nobody to help me because I signed a clause that forbids me to hire FORMER employees of the company hired the previous year.

Plan B: Hire another company offering the same service... Hum, yeah... Good luck with that!

2) Confidence abuse

Well, such a clause is signed with the entities making business with the aforementioned social economics company. This little details is however hidden from the employees... So, everytime a contract is signed, an employment opportunity is closed for each and every employee. Even if the job has nothing to do with the responsabilities...

Of cours, these kinds of clauses are not there to limit the employees freedoms of action, they exist to protect everyone. There would be a need for lawyers in order to start procedures... The necessary funds are just not there for this kind of situation... Oh? Good! Sigh!!!

Wait a minute! Not so fast. Didn't I mention a partnership earlier??? One of the biggest companies in a certain field... Surely they must have ressources...

Socio-corporative economics (cont.)

2009-02-16T10:55:00.000-08:00

3) Race for profits

Ok, I have to admit it, this point is not directly related to the question I'm discussing here. But I think it is important to talk about it because it describes a general state. It is also important to note that it is not a race for profits per say, it is more a race for expenses cuts, which is normal for any enterprise logically constituted. Where I do have a problem, is when it is done on the backs of people of good faith.

So three statuses within the company:
Permanent employees, payed an hourly rate (plus overtime).
(More or less) Seasonal employees, payed an weekly rate (no overtime).
Volunteers, compensated for their trouble.

Ok, Let's agree that permanent employees are a rare occurrence within the company... The seasonal employees, as for them, have a weekly contract (fixed rate)... The problem is that some employees work year round and go from a hourly rate status during the low season to a weekly rate status during the high season. Just so we can save person-hour expenses during the high season.

The volunteers... The volunteers, as mentioned above, receive a compensation for a period of fixed time. Ok, they know what to expect. Some of the give from themselves... A lot. Some of them have a little more responsabilities than the others. Are they offered a work contract when they deserve one? No. Are their compensations bonified when they work more than the fixed time period? Hell no.

So, I think that when we consider these examples, we are looking at a new economic model: Socio-corporative economics. All the advantages of a corporationlike mentality... All the advantages of being a Non-Profit Organisation...

It starting to look like this, of which the case is discussed here...

Oh! While we're at it, news from Fat Fucking Redhead...

His head is still up his ass! And it will be replaced by the socio-corporative phallus as soon as the next high season comes around...

Piss poor week...

2009-02-06T12:26:00.000-08:00

... And it's not over.

So... Bad news on Tuesday. Re-bad news on Thursday. In both cases, something that puts you on your ass for weeks...

And...

The surprise... Tada!!!

They're both related... Yaaaay!!! Fuck me

We're crossing our fingers so that there are no more bad news, but you should always prepare for the worse, the disappointment is not as big. I'm currently awaiting more bad news, but I may be amplifying the whole thing. You know, the kind of thing that falls in the scalded-cat-fears-cold-water category...

Woah! Finally the week-end. I can sleep, relax a bit...

NO!

Sampling Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. Fuck me twice, I need a break

I think I'll take the next two hours to take a nap. And during that time, if someone could come by my place with a ten pound sledgehammer, I'm pretty sure it'll do me good.

The windmills

2009-02-03T13:17:00.001-08:00

Well! Because I'm tired of explaining myself... AND because I'm fed up of blowing gaskets on account of this subject. I'll do it once and for all, and don't ask me anymore questions, I will refer you to this blog entry.

First act: Context for those outsiders to the question

I worked two summers for a social economy company that deals with special events. And over the summer, in Montreal, special events, festivals, parties of all sorts, there are some... and more. We're a good sized team, say a little less than fifteen, plus a great deal of volunteers.

So. This job, considering the conditions, require a good deal of work hours. The first summer, I was had, just like everybody else, and signed the contract... Contract that included a little clause that stipulated that overtime wouldn't be paid. When a job requires that you work thirty hours one week and fifty the next... The high numbers rule says that it balances out in the long run. However, when the weekly worked hours is systematically above 40, and can, in some cases reach 70 or 80... It's a little abusive, not very honest and definitely in bad faith... And entirely legal!

So be it... When you're being hired, you're told that the job requires long hours, and that there will be time off to compensate... Yeah, right...

Second summer, trying not to be had, asking changes in the contract... "Later, We'll look into it later..." Result, I never signed said contract. End of employment, I ask the not-to-be-asked question:"So? What about our year's end bonuses?" Which, incidentally, were promised the previous year and never came. "We'll manage something at the end of the season..." The end of the season:"So? Our season's end bonuses?" "We're checking out the budgets..."

Oh? Ya? Ok...

Complaint with the Commission des Normes du Travail (Work Norms Commission? Sorry, provincial agencies don't have English names in Quebec)... Oh how much swearing after each telephone exchanges... Oh the frustration of realizing that it's all perfectly legal... Oh the insult, added to the injury, by the Commission's investigator:"You'll know for the next time sir".

And the call from the employer:"So, what do you want?" "Simple, I want to be paid the hours I worked..."

Amicable arrangement, the thing is over. Almost...

I did the entire process in the utmost transparency, sending all relative information regarding this question to most of my colleagues, those whom I knew to have worked excessive hours also... And there were more than a few.

The next day, almost everyone had received in it's entirety (very few people) or in part what was owed. Those who didn't receive everything at that moment, still don't, to the best of my knowledge. At that point, it's not my problem anymore.

Second act: New character, Fat Fucking Redhead, enters.

Character description:
End of contract, it is not renewed, I go to work for the major competitor that threatened to bring the company down... I come back under my own terms.
I worked crazy hours, just like everybody else, I jeopardize, not one, but two major events, because I don't feel like working that one day. (This one won him a major gasket blow from yours truly... With the veins close to explosion and all the fixin's)
I don't work on an event I wanted to do, I threaten to quit, which forces the reevaluation of everybody's schedule to accomodate him.

A self-centered bastard, you get the picture!!

So, after I had worked to elevate everyone's status, that I tried to insure that those who followed me wouldn't get screwed, Fat Fucking Redhead sends a lettre to the CEO in order to disassociate himself from the entire thing. Note that I'm pretty sure he didn't return the money. Just to be consequent...

Maybe that was my mistake, maybe I should have been inequitable myself and exclude him from everything.

New gasket blown... A beautiful one, a major one...

What gives, was I told, there was nothing against you in the letter...
(Note that nobody who's received it let me read it)

Fuck, you just don't get it!

What gives, was I asked, why are you pissed then...?

If you have to ask, I'll answer... Again. And if you still don't get it, you're going to have to make more efforts in trying to think about durable achievements, rather than personal gain.

By sending this letter, he made sure that the status quo would remain within the company, and that the new guys, next season, wouldn't benefit from the efforts that were made towards a aknowledgement of the employees.

By sending this lettre, he justifies the exploitation of young people that get in the boat because of a cause... Blindly, and not necessarely knowing what they're getting into.

By sending this letter, he climbs (Or so he thinks) above others, walking all over them. Which shows a total disparagement towards his peers.

Here is, amongst others, why I'm pissed... Also, by the total lack of balls. You bitch, but you don't do jack to better your condition. You profit from the work of others, but you run it down at the same time.

When you don't have the balls to stand up, the least you can do is shut the fuck up. You don't even have to say thanks.

Third act: Conclusion.

Some would says that I'm waging war on windmills. So be it, by far, I'd rather fight wind and having the impression of ameliorating, just a bit, the society of which I am a part, then fall into the facility of caring about only my own little self and thus participating in the decline of societal norms everyone seems to cry about so readily.

Others would say that I'm suffering from the hero complex. Maybe, but, and that's a good thing, I am not alone. And if everyone would stand, united against the smallest of injustices, well we wouldn't need to be. And beleive me, I would sleep a hell of a lot better at night.

In the category I'm-not-going-to-bed-quite-as-dumb

2009-01-30T21:24:00.000-08:00

I'm just comming back from a excellent show, the esquire show bar revue at the Théatre Corona. Rock, Motown, Soul... Everything to put you in a good mood. The very beautiful, talented... decorative Sylvie Desgroseilliers (Will you marry me?) is an important part of the whole thing... I wont do the revue of the show, I'm leaving that to Marie, who will be more eloquent than I on the subject.

The I'm-not-going-to-bed-quite-as-dumb comes from the conversation had just before the show... We were talking about miss Desgroseilliers, and I couldn't remember her. Marie describes her... Ok! She's the mulatto...

No... Mistake.

She's not the mulatto, she the metis! What? Yes yes. Well, for most of us, people from the land where snow has snowed, a metis is someone who has a white parent and the other from a First Nation... For the rest of the world, the term metis references any kind of mix.

Mulatto has always been a part of my vocabulary to describe someone who has a white parent and a black parent... Apparently, the term dates back to slavery and is a reference to the mule, the sterile animal originating from the fornication of horses and asses...

Oups, sorry, I had no idea whatsoever. Press the [del] button, there, done.

In the same line of thought, the crotch between the knees dates back to the same era and was used to slow down the escape of slaves... Although, for that one, I have nothing to blame myself for...

The moral of the story

2009-01-30T06:58:00.001-08:00

Hoping I don't know anyone who acts like this...

...talking about the girl, of course... Because being in the guys shoes, I would have taken the first option!

The difference between real life and school...

2009-01-28T15:08:00.000-08:00

Right there are plenty of these differences. Here's one.

As mentioned in the previous post, I've been doing some sampling in the pas few days. The equipment is on loan from Environment Canada. Ignoring the differences in calibration that screw with my data sets. One of the instruments is designedto be in a sampling station, not on the roof of a moving vehicle. This little detail brings along with it a bunch a annoyances (No, I never swear, I have been well raised...).

So, one of the solutions that have been brought up is to use a power supply, with batteries and a regulator, in order to make the signal wave sinusoidal (like the outlet in your home) rather than square (like what comes out of a car alternator). So I go to the offices of Environment Canada to go get the little thingy in question...

A few observations:
The technician on site told me, basically, to do with it as I please (not exactly in these terms)... What? Actually, the Montreal office inherited the obsolete equipment out of the Toronto office (First observation, although not very surprising). And since we're talking about Environment Canada... They can't really chuck it in the garbage, can they?

So, in all my naive good faith, I say:
"I know a company that recycles computer equip..."
(no time to finish)
Jugularity in stereo from both technicians:
"Wow, it doesn't work like that...!"
(??? Was the look on my face)
"We can't send this stuff to just anyone..."
I get it:
"Yeah, the government... You need to call for bids."
The tech:
"Not only that, even if you find the guy that does the best job, you can't send him everything... You end up with a sponsorship scandal!"

(Second observation, the liberals succeeded in scrapping what was left of common sense in governmental bureaucracy)

So, their solutions:
I choke on the power supply that I have (Yaaaay, one less).
The remainder is sold by the kilo... to someone, who'll sell it again... etc. Until it ends up being thrown away or recycled... No choice, their hands are tied.

Ordinary... Quite ordinary...

In bulk...

2009-01-28T10:13:00.001-08:00

Did I miss the memo?!?! Can anyone tell me when the city of Montreal became efficient?
I haven't put the recycling on the curb since the beginning of the year, the result: I have Mount Crap in my backyard. I can't take it out on tuesday nights, it's garbage day, And wednesday morning, well, by 8:00 A.M. the recycling has gone by...

Update on Office politics: I will not have a temporary office... Ergo, I must wait ad vitam aeternam my permanent office... Thanks to a certain government employees union...

In order to stop biting your nails, there is a product that make your fingers taste bad, eventually (in theory), you stop...
Anyone who has spent more than 5 minutes with me noticed that I have a bad, annoying, almost disgustiong habit... Crraaaaaccck, I crack my neck. In doing so, I undo the good job my chiropractor does... Does anyone have a trick?!?! Should I wear a cervical collar?!?! A lamp-shade like a flea infested dog?!?!

These last days, I've been sampling, all over town, a little of which east of the refineries (Mmmmh, the sweet perfume of gasoline). Ok, note to anyone who would like to do such experiments, taking on the road equipment that has been designed to remain stationnary, it is more-than-fun...

The new U2 single... It sucks, it's sounds like Coldplay, nothing is happening. Can we have stuff like it was back on Joshua tree?

The genres

2009-01-23T06:57:00.000-08:00

It's drôle how pendant a soirée in frenglish, la first chose that part, it's les genders...

That's it, I have no more...

2009-01-22T13:04:00.000-08:00

I'm just back from my maternal grand mother's funeral, she was the last I had and passed at the venerable age of 97. Before you offer your sympathies, I say: Don't, I have no use of them... I feel no sadness, nor do I feel the need to mourn. I would rather celebrate the time she shared in my own existence then cry for my loss.

Even she, in the frightening lucidity she still had in her advanced age, found that she had lived long enough, that she had seen enough, and that she was ready for something else. I knew her no regrets, and I am convinced she died a fulfilled woman.

Instead of offering me your condolences, celebrate with me the god dammed pig headed she was, and her accomplishments. And remember that these are other times I'm talking about. This woman of character raised her four first children in a rural setting (and later, in a small village), where she lead, alone, a milk farm/orchard, my grand father, working in a quarry in a nearby village, would visit his own farm once a week.

Her five children had an above average education compared to their respective generations, two of them doctors (one M.D. and one Ph.D). The older, born during the great depression, never, to my knowledge, lacked anything. However, all of them remember eating apples, and apples, and more apples...

I have images of my other grand parents, my maternal grand father, who's death came when I was still a boy, a man with no education, who had started working at the aforementioned quarry at a little more than ten years of age as a waterboy, worked as the first assistant to the engineer for most of his career. Without an education, he could solve complex problems that sometimes, even his direct superior, the engineer, couldn't solve. A capacity for logic out of this world...

My paternal grand mother, who carried her family on her shoulders for her entire life. A great seamstress, she made her children's clothes. She borrowed money, when my father was just a young adolescent, to buy him a saxophone. It is naturally a necessary object for any poor family. She made him practice six hours a day until adulthood so he could one day use these skills to pay for a superior education. And that's exactly what happened. That's long term planning...

My paternal grand father, broken by bankruptcy, carried this weight for most of his life. You see, when the Lafontaine tunnel was built, they expropriated the people living and working on the highway's path. Up to the building next to my grand father's taylor's shop. When he retired, he found himself a new pride, two actually. Taking care of my ill grand mother and taking care of his grand children. How many times did I have lunch with him so he could tell me history the way he had lived it... After a stroke, incapable of speech on the bed that would be his last, the last gesture he had towards me was to ask me to remember...

I am the sum of these people, amongst others, and they left me the best heritage there is: relentless work until it's accomplishment, the lust for life, the pride of knowing you did what needed to be done, the planning, the analysis of the world and mostly... Never to forget where I come from and where I'm going.

Should I be worried???

2009-01-21T04:16:00.000-08:00

Soon, I will be doing some sampling and yesterday, I retested the equipment I have at home... And so, the average levels of PM10 are 33,65 µg/m³, the PM2,5 are 9,32 µg/m³ and the PM1,0 are 5,20 µg/m³. This, by a beautiful winter afternoon.

What does it all mean, I haven't got the slightest idea... I work on outside air. And I really don't feel like doing the litterature review!

I'm starting to realise, with a rather extreme distress, that, the more diplomas I collect, the less I know.

A green economy please

2009-01-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, I received this from the David Suzuki Foundation... And May I add that investing in pollution reducing technologies and a green economy helps save the government money in health expenses, hence promoting economic growth further... Yes, this is the public health student speaking.

****************

Dear friends,

Despite growing economic concerns, "a majority of Canadians believe it is now as important as ever to push ahead with new environmental initiatives in Canada." (Environics Research, December 2008)

Yet, there has been little talk about a green stimulus package in Canada.

Please join me in calling on Canada's government to show true leadership and write our Federal Finance Minister.

The U.S. is swearing in a president who takes global warming seriously. "The time for denial is over," Barack Obama said in December. "We all believe what the scientists have been telling us for years now, that this is a matter of urgency and national security, and it has to be dealt with in a serious way. That is what I intend my administration to do."

President Obama also recognizes that creating green jobs in areas such as renewable energy is a good way to stimulate and rebuild the economy.

On January 27, our federal government will introduce a new budget and invest billions of your tax dollars on stimulating the Canadian economy.

Let's make sure that as much of the stimulus package as possible is green.

Follow this link to put your name forward for a green stimulus package in the January 27 federal budget.

We are facing the challenge of our lifetime - finding ways to build an economy that will stop destroying our planet.

We can do it. Let's start now.

Thank you.

The David Suzuki Foundation team.

About the David Suzuki Foundation
Since 1990, the David Suzuki Foundation has worked to find ways for society to live in balance with the natural world that sustains us. Focusing on five program areas - oceans and sustainable fishing, climate change and clean energy, sustainability, terrestrial conservation and the Nature Challenge - the Foundation uses science and education to promote solutions that conserve nature and help achieve sustainability within a generation.

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Office politics

2009-01-18T07:12:00.000-08:00

Same shit, different pile... Apparently.

Many years ago, when my mother got her first prof position in a university, her collegues would come greet her and welcome her. Which would be expected. But on top of that, some would come and count the floor tiles...

WHAT?!?! Yes, yes... The aim of the enterprise being quite simple: Evaluate the office area. Because of course, the office size is directly related to the occupant's status. The number of windows as well.

Time travel: 2009.

I still don't have an office, shouldn't be long now. In fact, I will have a temporary office in a public institution that has nothing to do with the research consortium to which my doc project is related. Eventually, I will have to move, which is not the end of the world.

But why a temporary office?

Because the research consortium offered a big office to our group... A single one, for 5 people. Which means that my prof had to say no... A work conditions thing.

I would have thought that all these highly educated people would be above such littleness, but apparently, we have to measure one's value, not by the quality of their work, but by the area of their office.

International politics

2009-01-15T04:45:00.000-08:00

I finally figured out what the problem is between Israel and Palestine.

The cease-fire negotiations include, not only Israel, but the United States as well...

Usually, when your negotiating a cease-fire, you also have to include the enemy!!!

Inflation?!

2009-01-12T13:41:00.000-08:00

OUCH!!! That one hurt...

My 6 credit semester just cost me 1,326.29$. Is it because of the inflation? Seems to me my bachelor's degree credits were less expensive... In the order of 1,600$ for 12 credits.

OK, I bitch a bit, but it's still not as bad as the 10,000$ it cost the foreign students in the same university, or the 30,000$us per semester by our neighbors to the south. But it beats the 700$ I paid last semester as a non-program student in the same program...

And can anyone tell me:

Why do I have to pay 6.90$ in copyright fees when I submit by myself my own articles...?
What are the 100.05$ management fees for?
Why do I pay 25.00$ for the Student life amelioration fund when my office is in a research center down-town, paid for by my prof's chair...?

I'm not saying anything about the 350.24$ in diverse fees that every student, from the bachelors to the doc pay... In case you're wondering... The 6 actual credits are worth 934.05$...

Sell your soul...

2009-01-12T10:37:00.000-08:00

What guy wouldn't sell his soul like this:

Winter fashion

2009-01-12T10:16:00.000-08:00

The only problem with the winter pelt...

are the snutcicles.

It works?!?!

2009-01-11T06:50:00.000-08:00

Oh well! It works!!

One of the things often proposed for conserving energy is to close the blinds at night during winter... I never really did it before this year. Now... Having electronic thermostats, I know within half a degree what temperature it is in my apartment, or at least around the thermostat. Whether it is 19, 17 or 16, according to the running program (Cold? It's winter, wear a good sweater).

Maybe it is a psychosomatic effect, but I'm under the impression that it is not as cold in my apartment when the blinds are closed. Even though the temperature indicated by the thermostat is the same. That's why I asked a few people if they thought my home was less cold at night... Same answer!

So I asked myself: Why?

My thermodynamics notions go pretty far back, but I managed somewhat of an answer. A heated body emits infrared radiation, me, you, the air in the apartment... Infrared radiation acts like visible light and consequently goes through transparent bodies. This radiation would then be absorbed by the closed blinds to be re emitted inside?? Ok, maybe, seems logical... That being the case, why does it feel warmer?

And the law says...

2009-01-06T06:20:00.000-08:00

I have a cousin living in Denver, Colorado... I recently learned that he can't offer wine, beer or any other type of alcohol to his ADULT daughter (over 18 years old) in his own home. Indeed, the legal drinking age is 21 years old.

A neighbor who would see him offering a drink to his daughter, at home, could very well call the cops... And they would come!

Land of the free my ass!

Zen and masochism

2009-01-05T20:18:00.000-08:00

In order to truly love pain...

One must play flash games on a slow computer that lags... Thinking he can beat, not himself, but the lag.

Well that went well

2009-01-05T13:35:00.000-08:00

Today marks the return to work... It is with a lot less neurons, thanks to the many casks of wine that come with the holidays, and my brain swimming in cholesterol, thanks to the kilotons of food ingested in family gatherings, that I sat down in front of my computer.

Can't say it went too badly, considering. And you'll be happy to learn that I didn't procrastinate all that much.

I love skinheads

2009-01-02T22:54:00.000-08:00

After a conversation with the brother-in-law and and another buddy... I decided that I loved skinheads:

I love the way that their idea of a fair fight is beating someone up 15 to 1
I love the way they revise history (by the way, if we start with the precept that history belongs to the victor... you lost: accept it)

I love most of all the way they bring that tingly feeling to my knuckles with their noses...

This being said, when I stop procrastinating because of the Christmas vacation (I'm entitled to them, I'm a student), I will throw up the accumulation of my random thoughts and the rest of my crap... I promise I think

A very merry solstice to all

2008-12-25T04:25:00.000-08:00

With all the current craziness, I almost forgot to wish you all a very merry solstice... Here, it's done... Now I just have a small request:

LET GO OF THE BELLS!! DAMN IT!

This year, I heard my first bell right before Halloween, it's becoming a little excessive. Now that Christmas has passed, we'll be bells-free for 6 months. Predicted return of the bells for 2009: July.

Some recipes for the coming year:

Vinegar!
Vinegar (acetic acid - C2H4O2) is a magical product, it can replace the chemical rinsing agent in your dishwasher and leave your china spotless; it can replace your cleaning products when you're cleaning floors, it's marvelous. Furthermore, it's a NATURAL chemical compound originating from the oxidation of ethanol (beer, wine, etc.) and is completely biodegradable...

Peroxide!
Peroxide (Hydrogen peroxide - H2O2) is a magical product, it works better than alcohol to asepticise. The peroxide that we can buy in little brown bottles at the pharmacy, once mixed 50/50 with water (H2O), can replace your mouthwash and will leave your gums pretty pink and your teeth quite white. Peroxyde is a chemically isolated compound and is entirely biodegradable...

2009 Almanach

2008-12-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I know...

As for newspapers, magasines and television shows, publishing in/out type stuff is a show of a flagrant lack of inspiration...

So, here it is...

Downward predictions for the year to come:
- Gravel that will be worth more than paper money...
- And by way of consequence, no more need of packets, out with clothes: everybody naked!
- Out masters/doc level classes that show you how to calculate averages.
- Out (again this year) common sense in economics (see econolypse now!)
- Out employee respect and worker's rights, this touches all types of companies, including those of social economy...
- Out goes democracy, the right takes control of the government, ignoring the will of the people.
- Out with Groenland glaciers, finally more land to plunder.
- Out with lasting works, we keep going with reality TV and new disposable idols.
- Out with Hummers, a happy consequence of the economic crisis.
- Out with religions: Illegal, Castro had it (almost) right! (This is definitively to be seen).

Upward predictions for the year to come:
- In with interpersonal in/outs, we want more!
- In with mountains of money for the private industries for their restructuring (meaning massive job cuts)
- In with price hikes for gas, meat, milk, vegetables, rice, bread...
- In with emissions of CO2, Methane, VOC's, tropospheric O3...
- In the new Star Trek movie in may (I just hope... that the... actor... playing Kirk... doesn't play... like... William... Shatner...)
- In with the only left seat in the national assembly (High hopes, but he's still a politician...).
- In with the construction of the CHUM, the îlot voyageur and other white elephants.
- In with generalised Kafkaesque bureaucracy.
- In with ~~giant~~ ~~massive~~ unimaginable economic fraud.
- In with a change toward a lasting economic model...

And I'll just finish with a quote from David Suzuki:

In the environmental movement...
Every time you lose a battle it's for good,
but our victories always seem to be temporary and
we keep fighting them over and over again.

Word association

2008-12-19T10:16:00.000-08:00

The words Kaposi's Sarcoma (SARcome de KapOSI in French) remind me of something else...

In fact, the more I think of it, the more the two go hand in hand.

Coitus interruptus

2008-12-17T09:43:00.000-08:00

Wow... Thanks a lot.
After spending seven years at the University of Montreal (and we're still counting), I was treated to the best masters' graduation ceremony ever at the post office...

Not that I put a lot of value in this kind of stuff...
But a little thank you from the university would have been appreciated. I've been fighting for seven years with its bureaucracy and obscure rules, haunting its hallways...

A glass of cheap wine would have been appreciated.

Note that the post office clerk's reaction was appreciated:
-Mr. J..May I see an I.D. please?
-Here.
-Thank you...

The guy rummages to find the thing... and finds it

Me:-What theeee...?
-It's a university diploma (it's actually written on the enveloppe)
-Oh well...

(while handing it over)
-Congratulations Mr. J.
(Jugularity from other clients)
-Thanks

Zen and procrastination

2008-12-15T09:06:00.001-08:00

In order to truly procrastinate...

One must let go of the desire to succeed.

Ph.D. articles

2008-12-12T09:14:00.000-08:00

Years of Ph.D. to go:

4-5 years

Stress level increase due to article writing:

150%

Realising you prof doesn’t read your article before having you rewrite it:

Priceless

Master's article

2008-12-12T09:13:00.000-08:00

Total cost of your masters:

6,000$

Number of pages of the final document:

64 pages

Realising that your article won’t be published because of public sector involvement:

Priceless

Official launch

2008-12-10T14:36:00.000-08:00

Today marks the official launch of the end of semester's head cramming...

Cramming 15 weeks of epidemiology and 7 weeks of biostatistics... Notwithstanting the articles that aren't being written, when there are so many things to disturb...

The dog snoring (lucky guy)...
The snow falling (should have gone skiing)...
And so many others... :-(

9 sleeps... 9
And don't tell me I should have started earlier... I'm realising that right now. At the same point as during the last semester, and the one before, and the one before...

Happy/hard hangover and mea culpa

2008-12-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

The liberal majority... Could have done without...
The ADQ eating dirt... Good ridance... Hoping they entirely disapear next time.
QS getting Doc. Khadir elected... Extremely happy...
Good show for the PQ... Good for them, couldn't care less, they've been disappointing for years.

So all in all: -1 + 1 + 1 + 0 = 1
I would have to say happy hangover

On a side note, I couldn't believe Derome's arrogance yesterday, what lack of professionalism.
Examples?
- Well we have the liberals leading with x%, the PQ following y%, the ADQ loosing ground with z%... and well, you can look at the little parties.

And when Khadir won, and this one's the best:
- I guess now some spokespeople will be more solidaire (sorry, no translation available) then others...

Asshole, do us all a favor for the next election, either check your liberalism at the door and be professional or run yourself.

Oh... And the Mea Culpa

Didn't vote green... But my vote offers the same environmental platform, with many extras... Not that it made a difference in my riding.

Churchill's speach

2008-12-08T06:22:00.000-08:00

We shall go on to the end,
we shall fight in Québec,
we shall fight on the St-Lawrence and the Great Lakes,
we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in democracy,
we shall defend our Coalition, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the white sands of lake Ontario,
we shall fight on the McDonald-Cartier airport,
we shall fight in the oil fields and in the 16th avenue,
we shall fight in the Rockies;
we shall never surrender!

- W. Churchill

Statistics applied to drinking

2008-12-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

P[A|B] = 0.999

Where A = Coming home drunk
And B = Going out for “just one drink”

Conspiracy theory

2008-12-07T06:16:00.000-08:00

Doesn't Wall-e look like Johnny-5?

I smell an identity theft...

Young man...

2008-12-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Troy McLure, you may remember me from such classes as high school biology…

The story goes like this, or so I was told…

You had to write a poem on a strong emotion for Mrs. B.’s French class. The text, I never read. However, it was precise enough that you felt you owed her an explanation before handing it in… You went to see her and came out to her… Flat out.

She told me the story, but rest assured she never broke your confidence. I figured the rest out by my self. And I’m pretty sure she feels the same way I do.

As a teacher, I never could have said the following, but now that I don’t teach anymore…

Kid, know that I generally am considered a proud, strong, pigheaded individual. I have convictions and stand by them. And I never would have had this kind of courage in high school. Had I been in your place, I don’t think I would have come out to myself. I admire you for knowing who you are, and figuring it out so early in life. What you did shows strength of character. Hold on to it, and don’t let anyone give you shit for it.

I always thought highly of you, you’re a gifted individual. This is the cherry on top. Stay strong and the sky is not a limit.

Young man, hats off to you!

SHIT!!!

2008-12-05T04:39:00.000-08:00

SHIT!!!

I wanna be anarchy

2008-12-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

The image of an anarchist: clothes full of holes… Green spiked hair… A punk basically. And they call themselves anarchist. HA! Clearly, if you want to change the system, living apart from it is the best way…

I don’t like an advertisement in a bar, on the street… HOU!!! I’m going to stick a sticker on it in order to hide it!!! Hihi! Clearly, if you want to change the system, passive-aggressive acts and vandalism are the best way…

There’s a manifestation for a cause that grips my guts, I’m going to go and fight it out with the cops!!! Clearly, if you want to change the system, getting it to turn it’s back on you is the best way…

YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!

Psychologists say that for individuals true change comes from within, the person needs to really want to change and make some efforts in that direction. As for psychiatrists, well they say that true change for an individual comes from well dosed medication, but that’s another story…

Why wouldn’t it be true for society?

You want to change the system? Touch people individually, a convinced person will be your best advocate.

You want to change the system? Educate yourself, you’ll then be able to enter the system and change it as you please.

True change takes time, you need to be patient and not give up. Also, you can’t let the system change you while you’re in it… That’s the dangerous part. The not-to-follow example: the baby-boomers…

They managed to produce great changes in the late 60’s and early 70’. Afterwards, nothing, they started doing coke in the 80’s, invested all their money in RRSP’s during the 90’s… Outrageous conservatism since then. How could an entire generation go from one extreme to the other? I have no idea.

I had the pleasure of teaching in high school, I recommend it to every new graduate (except those that have an education degree, clearly, a formation in pedagogy prepares you to teach science, english, math, history, etc). I had the pleasure of touching the minds of young people while they were in a expanding state and open their eyes on some aspects of life they would never have considered otherwise. I also had the pleasure of having my eyes opened on their reality… And all that in an environment that I dispise. I taught in a rich suburb…

Open a spoiled brat’s eyes who has no conception of environmental problems, social inequities, problems to come and overcome, that’s change… Make it so that they return to their rich suburb and apply real measures, that’s a victory.

Responsible living

2008-12-04T07:04:00.000-08:00

Beer count at the pub: 5 or 6 (we're off to a good start)
Bottles of wine during supper: 1 a head
Glasses of scotch: yes

We love getting shitfaced on a wednesday!

Expected productivity today: NULL!

Mathematics 101

2008-12-02T18:36:00.000-08:00

If you have a minority government... It's because it has less than 50% of the seats of parliement, right?

If it has less than 50% of the seats, we can approximate that less than 50% of the population voted for this government... No?

If ALL the opposition parties group together, the corolary implies a representativity of more than 50% of the population.
(i.e. 1 - 0,38 = 0,62)

This being said, why would a coalition government be undemocratic?

Ergo:
Basic mathematics are not part of the conservative platform...

Statistics applied to music

2008-12-02T09:05:00.000-08:00

P[A|C] = 0,5
P[B|C] = 0,5

Where A = Hear Supertramp on the Radio
And B = Hear Rush on the Radio
And C = Dial CHOM

God will surely smite me...

2008-12-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

After watching this video thanks to this guy, I was reminded of a joke that will surely lead me straight to hell, but here it is anyways:

The make-a-wish foundation, in order to save the little ressources they had, packed a ship with all the children that wanted to go on a cruise.

And, of course, they brought a physician, just in case, a lawyer, just in case, and a priest, jsut in case...

After downing his 40 ouncer, the captain of the ship hit a reef and the ship unfortunatly began to sink. And, on the PA, everyone herd the call: Abandon ship!!!

Upon hearing the order, the physician cried out: We must save the children!!!
To which the lawyer replied: Fuck the children!
At this point, intrigued, the priest turns to the lawyer and asks him: Yes, but do we have time?

Find the force you must

2008-12-01T12:41:00.000-08:00

Hard day it is? Work you try have? Envying the dog you have been… Fret do not, for tomorrow a new day is. Work to you will succeed, and class you have. On Wild Web World time will you not loose.

Nerditude this is… mmmhhh… yes. Nerditude this is.

One million acts of green

2008-11-30T07:16:00.000-08:00

I’m taking advantage of the fact that the David Suzuki Foundation website is now online with a French version to ramble a bit. Said site promotes, amongst other things, the one million acts of green program.

I created an account just to see what the measures I was already applying were doing. Well, the past years' efforts apparently reduced my CO2 contribution to the world by 4,033kg/yr… Not bad. And now?

The good news about this website is that you are able to suggest new measures that are not on the list, we like! So if you have a brilliant idea that would enable your household to substantially reduce energy consumption, for instance, with the least effort necessary, which is important so that ~~imbeciles~~ ~~lazy bums~~ people actually do it, all you have to do is suggest it. We like a lot.

Furthermore, this option allows the most environmentally friendly of us to get new ideas…

There’s one oopsie… You can’t really know how the whole thing is being calculated… Which is generally the problem with these kinds of websites.

Paperwork

2008-11-29T10:26:00.001-08:00

It’s this wonderful time of the year again: class registration. Of course, now that we’re grad students, it can’t be done over the internet… You have to deal with your academic unit.

From the little I can remember of my undergrad years, asides from the parties and the outrageous beer/hard liquor drinking, is that in order to register for classes, all I needed to do is sit at my computer with the aforementioned alcohol and double click on some link…

Nowadays, it seems that asides from paper writing, paper submitting, paper refusals, paper rewriting, paper resubmitting and grants applicating, I have to run all over the creation to follow a paper trail that never seems to end…

I thought that paperwork would have a new meaning by now, not a double one.

Political fart (it won't happen too often, promise)

2008-11-29T06:53:00.000-08:00

Since yesterday, our government is on the verge of collapsing… again… Threatening us to go in the very democratic election process… again… Just to remind ourselves of the democratic process this year so far:

Canadian federal election in October (for which the conservatives called said election during a time they had no competition… none at all)
American election in November (You really can’t get more democratic the a two party system)
Québec provincial election to come in December (For which all the parties are really equally represented in the media… just look at the debates)

And now, because Harper and his flock and their right wing ways, we might be at it again. Well… I say: Do it!!! Let the Liberals and the NDP form a coalition government. Why you might ask, all very simple.

Firstly, because a socialist government might be a breath of fresh air. Since the turn of the century, the world has seen a major shift to the right, and now, look at the state of things. I personally think they did a bang up job, but you’re entitled to your own opinion.

Secondly, both the Liberals and the NDP have an actual environmental platform, which might be a breath of fresh air… period.

Thirdly, I see calm weather on the horizon. If the Liberals and the NDP manage to get along for the next few years, there will be no opposition at all since the interests of Québec always vote with the NDP.

Simplistic analysis? Quite… But this is a blog. And if this coalition government should fall, let’s do the most democratic thing we can do as a people and raise what’s left of the black flag!

Double standard?

2008-11-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

Alcoholics, drug addicts and other dependants have a disease… dependency to something or another. Right? It’s a disease according to international (WHO), many national and provincial statutes… Addiction affects the addict, of course, the entourage and society as a whole.

Than can someone tell me why, even though it’s considered medically as a dependency, smoking is a filthy habit?!?!

Brain fart of a ~~smoker~~ ~~ex-smoker~~ ~~smoker~~ ~~ex-smoker~~ smoker

Useful knowledge

2008-11-28T12:49:00.000-08:00

It would seem that all my years at school have prepared me quite well for the real world. You see I majored in physics... So, in theory, I can program in at least three different languages, I can do math at an advanced level and I see the world in a unique perspective.

In theory.

Or so I was told…

None of those, by the way, are useful in the real world… For instance: I can’t program HTML if my life depended on it and my head is filled with so much useful knowledge that I still have to count with my fingers when a cashier gives me back change.

On an other subject, I have parted ways with alarm clocks a long time ago, actually since I got a dog big enough to underhandedly French kiss me every morning…

So, as I was laying in bed this fine gray November morning, with half of my face dry as a bone, I figured it was time I learned a new programming language. I would hope this might prove more useful.